Monthly Archives: January 2014

It’s Sunday…right?

The alarm goes off this morning and the frustratingly repetitive beep tears me from my dreams. I go through the same motions I make every time my alarm goes off. Slither my half-asleep self over the boyfriend, stumble over to the alarm and turn the first one off. Stumble back to bed, slither over the boyfriend again and promptly pass out. 

The alarm goes off again, but this is the one on my phone that is supposed to wake me up so I can use my elliptical machine. (Hasn’t happened once yet). Turn off the arooooga and pass back out. Turn off the next arooooga and start to wonder why my alarm is even going off at all. 

I think that’s crazy, why did I set my alarm? I don’t need to get out of bed, it’s Sunday. Go back to sleep. The alarm goes off again and again. And the alarm that is across the room goes off as well. I repeat the motions from before but then think, wait…is it Sunday? I’m fairly certain it is. Right? There is more sleep for me to have…right?!? 

While I try to decipher what exactly is happening, the boyfriend starts shoving me and says go turn off your alarm. I realize that the reason so many alarms are going off is because yes, it is a weekday and I need to actually be getting out of bed and getting ready. Now it is 7:17am. My train is at 8 and I have to get up, walk the dog, get dressed in work clothes, wash my face, brush my teeth, find time to eat some cereal, empty the moldy leftovers into the trash because it’s trash day, pack my computer up, remember my book, feed the dog…

I get ready in a crazy whirlwind and decide that the moldy food can wait. Once I’m ready to walk out the door, I realize there is no way I will make the train. It is 7:57 and it takes much longer than 8 minutes to walk to the train. I prepare to beg for a ride from the boyfriend, but he is in a generous mood so he agrees to drive me to the train. Hop out of the car, quickly get to the other side and the train is actually on time!! Yay!! 

Clearly, I shouldn’t have taken this as a sign of a good day because I get to work and my computer isn’t working. Like, won’t even turn on because it keeps freezing. So after two hours on the phone with tech support, they’re finally working on it. Meanwhile, I did learn that I can get my work email on my personal computer (well, accessing it online – but still). So I can still be semi-productive. 

Is it Friday yet??

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Maybe I’ll Go Fake Next Year…

I love Christmas. I always have, I mean, what kid doesn’t love the idea of a day where we get presents? Now that I’m older, I look forward to seeing the family I don’t always get a chance to see and I definitely look forward to Christmas dinner. Not that I don’t still enjoy presents. I love presents. But one of my favorite parts of the holiday season is the fresh smell of pine in my living room.

Without fail, I get a Christmas tree every year. I always say that I’ll get a ‘smaller one’, but then I can’t imagine bringing home a tree that isn’t bigger than me. Go big or go home, right? So I convince the boyfriend to let me get a huge tree and he rolls his eyes, but lets me. Then I cover it with decorations and lights and am happy for weeks. After Christmas, the boyfriend starts asking when I’m taking the tree down. This year, I promised I would before my birthday (which is on January 19th, and yes I will accept late birthday presents).

One difference this year in decorating was that a lot of my lights for my tree were out. I don’t know how to fix that, so i just put on strand after strand after strand. I think there were seven? Eight strands? All of which were on my one little tree (it was about 6 ft). I was pretty pleased with the effect, but I didn’t think the whole thing through.
I’ve had a lot of goals that I set for myself recently. Empty the litter every day, do the dishes every day, work out more, do blog posts on this blog weekly, on my other blog weekly, and on my other blog five times a month. With all these things in mind, I *may* have forgotten to water the tree as often as I should have. So, my tree got REALLY dry. Obviously.

So this past weekend, I was hosting my 27th birthday party and since there were going to be guests over, we wanted there to be room, so the tree had to go. Plus the tree was causing a huge mess. As you may have guessed, an unwatered tree does not easily un-decorate. It got to the point where I was yanking ornaments off the tree, needles flying everywhere, whole branches coming off in my hand. The mess, the mess was absurd. It seemed like half the tree at least fell off in the process of un-decorating it. That was just the ornaments. All hell broke loose when I tried to take off the lights. I found a strand and just started pulling. Then I started spinning the tree while I pulled the strands.

It took forever and my arms got all scratched up. My hair soaked up far too many needles. The animals were distraught, what with the spinning Christmas tree and all. Finally, the tree was cleared of all ornaments and all lights. The boyfriend went to carry it outside. And all the water that was in the stand spilled out all over. The rug was soaked, and people were expected any minute. Oh well, not everything can be perfect, but maybe next year I will get that fake tree that the boyfriend has been suggesting forever. Definitely will think about it.

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How I Judge You

Everyone is judgmental. It is a natural part of being a person in today’s society. We walk around and judge. We sit in restaurants and judge. We hide behind a computer and judge. What makes me judge you the most? When I’m using your bathroom.

I’ll admit it, I don’t keep the cleanest house. So I don’t judge based on that. I mean, sure, if your bathroom looks like it belongs to a bunch of frat boys, I’ll feel superior knowing I’ve cleaned my bathroom within the last month. (At least usually…) But what I really judge you on, what really sets people up as superior or inferior in my mind is your toilet paper. 

I know I’m not alone in this. In fact, the boyfriend raves about this all the time. He works in a job where he goes into clients homes and sometimes, he needs to use their bathroom. He is of the mindset “When you gotta go, you gotta go” and could care less where he is or what he is doing. (I’m a little more picky about where I go, but that’s a personal problem, or so I’ve been told.) What drives him crazy is that single-ply toilet paper. It’s useless! 

I know that most businesses get single-ply because it’s the cheaper option. But really, are you saving that much money? The average person will have to use twice as much as they are used to (unless they’re crazy and have single-ply at home) so you go through it that much faster. Are you really saving that much money? Plus, your customers are unhappy at the thoughtlessness of your toilet paper purchase. 

Now while I *sort of* understand businesses not investing in quality toilet paper, I do not understand when people get the shitty toilet paper for their own homes. ESPECIALLY when I know that this is not your only home and/or you have a car that cost more than a year’s salary and/or you have enough money to mimic Uncle Scrooge (aka: Scrooge McDuck) who would go swimming in his collection of coins. 

I’ve known people who throw money around for awesome vacations, ensure that they are always in the latest fashions, spend more money on cars and collectibles than I will ever see in my lifetime – and they have the WORST kind of toilet paper. I seriously don’t get it. 

I may have a mountain of student loan debt, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to buy cheap toilet paper. There are some things that are non-negotiable, and toilet paper – quality toilet paper – is at the top of that list. 

Walking in a Winter Wonderland – What the Song Doesn’t Tell You

I have a dog. I love him, he is a very sweet-tempered pup and is quite attached to his mama. I spent a lot of time researching dogs before I got him so that I was prepared. I read about what to feed him, what training he should get, the best ways to enforce house-breaking, and how often to take him on walks. It’s not like I never owned a dog before – but the ones I’ve owned were always the family dog. This translated to Mom took care of him and I just played with the dog. Becoming a dog owner is a big responsibility and I wasn’t about to walk into it unprepared.  

One thing that all the books and articles stress is the importance of walking your dog on a regular basis. For puppies, this should be around three times a day. Older dogs can usually go on two walks a day and be good to go. My ideal puppy was going to be at least a year old. Even though when I was getting my dog I had changed jobs to one with regular and predictable hours, I knew I would not be around often enough to take care of a ‘newborn’ (most articles suggest taking a puppy out every two hours – even during the night).  

In order to prove myself to the boyfriend, I was required to get up at six in the morning for a couple weeks, get out of bed, and walk around the block. I did this grudgingly, but I did it and was rewarded with my dog, Ranger. For the most part, Ranger really enjoys going on walks. He isn’t a huge fan of the rain, but he likes the snow well enough and usually can be found leaping around like a deer. 

That has not been the case over the past couple of days. I live in Philadelphia and it has been SO FUCKING COLD of late. So, despite the fact that Ranger has a winter coat (complete with a little hood), he has not been a happy camper when it came to going on walks over the past few days. On Friday, we got almost a foot of snow. I think more than half of my neighbors decided it was ‘fuck-this-shit-o’clock’ and did not bother to shovel their walks. Did I mention that my street does not get plowed? So I head out with the lil guy and we walk down the path to the sidewalk. We have steps to go down and I am almost up to my knees. Ranger looks at me apprehensively and follows me down the stairs. He ended up nose-diving into a huge pile of snow. Most of him was not visible. It was really hard to get him to continue the walk after that. But I kept coaxing him on. He didn’t want to cross the street, so I shuffled my feet in order to let him follow my tracks.  

Once we crossed the street and embarked on the path we usually take, things got even worse. He didn’t want to move. He didn’t want to budge. I tried to yank on the leash a bit and ended up falling in the snow myself. I came to the conclusion that this whole ordeal just wasn’t worth it. So we went back home (and I carried him up the steps). Since he hadn’t gone, I decided it was time for the backyard. We went out and he just kept looking at me. Finally, I got the broom that we keep out there and swept all the snow that I could to find some grass. It got to the point where he could walk around without snow touching his belly and FINALLY he went.  

Then the afternoon came around. I saw a lot of my neighbors had cleared the sidewalk, so I thought that we would be good for our walk this time. We have different routes that we go in the morning verse the afternoon (afternoon is longer) and so we went on our usual afternoon walk. The only thing is, no one shovels the sidewalks at the park. So we walk down my street, go up another, then cross over to the park. And here is where he once again stopped cooperating. I almost had to drag him the whole time. We got up to the point where we usually cross the street and he reluctantly went across. Here the sidewalks were for the most part clear, so he was good for a few minutes. He even turned the snow yellow in places.  

Then, less than halfway up the street he just stopped. He looked at me and that look said “Mom, I’m not taking another step. Fuck that. Not moving. It’s TOO COLD”. With that newfound information, I decided to stop fighting it. So I picked up Ranger (thank God he is a little one) and carried him the rest of the way home. We weren’t even halfway through our walk, so by the time we got home, it felt like I was carrying a 50lbs sack of potatoes that was shivering. I felt bad and decided no more long walks when it is that cold out.  

Exercise be damned!! 

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