Monthly Archives: December 2015

Dog Walking 101

I am of the opinion that if you get a dog there are certain responsibilities that go along with that. Obviously, you need to do the standard feed and shelter the dog. If possible, you should walk the dog twice a day. But more importantly, you need to clean up after your dog. This seemed obvious to me, but given the amount of dog shit I see, maybe people need to be reminded that cleaning up after their dogs is an important part of owning one. Yes, poop is kind of gross and especially picking it up right after it has been evacuated from the dog and it’s warm is not a pleasant experience. But changing diapers is no picnic either, so suck it up.

Because of my knee nonsense, I haven’t been the primary dog walker like I was before. But my husband works late some nights and I can’t make the dog wait. A few weeks ago I was walking Ranger after all the leaves had fallen – one of the biggest challenges when picking up after the dog. So he squats down and I go to grab a bag from the dispenser we keep on the leash and it was empty!

What do to? I couldn’t just leave it. That’s not okay. Should I knock on some neighbor’s doors and ask for a baggie? That might be weird…I wasn’t too far from home, so I decided I should just go get more bags. The challenge would be to find the dog shit again. So I found a stick and pushed it into the ground in front of the shit. I walked back home, got the bags, went back, found the stick and the shit, and cleaned up after my dog. Because that’s what you do.

So yes, I am extremely judgmental about cleaning up after your dog. I’m not saying everyone will go to those lengths to clean up shit, but you should make an effort! When there is dog shit on the sidewalk – well I don’t know who you are, but I send a wish out. I wish with all my heart that you will get explosive diarrhea in your pants in the middle of an important meeting. That’s all I ask. So the next time you decide to not clean up after your dog, don’t be surprised when you get hit with karmic shit at the worst possible moment. And you’ll deserve it too.

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Hunting Blondes at Wawa

 

For those of you that don’t know, I started a new job recently. One of the nice things about this job is that it is about five minutes from Wawa. Although I try to pack lunch when I can, sometimes that doesn’t work out and I go to Wawa. Yesterday was one of those days.

It started off simply enough, I was driving back from dropping off some paperwork at the doctor and headed in the direction of Wawa. I was behind a silver CRV and while driving around the bend I noticed that of the three brake lights cars have only one was working. That’s kind of a problem – and it isn’t likely that this car owner knew. So I made a decision. I decided that it was my mission to find this person and inform them that their brake lights were out. Of course this was all banking on the idea that the CRV turned into the Wawa parking lot. I wasn’t about to go on a crazy adventure. Lo and behold – the CRV pulled into the Wawa parking lot.

I followed the car around the building and then a spot opened up that the CRV had already past, so I parked and tried to get a good look at the car owner as I walked into Wawa. I could tell that the driver was a woman and that she was blonde. I assumed that would be plenty of information and I could tell her about her brakes.

Upon entering Wawa, I looked around. There were blonde women everywhere. Wawa was crowded as usual and I almost gave up. I then thought about making an announcement to the whole of the Wawa population. Finally I decided to just start somewhere, so I went up to a blonde woman and asked if she drove a CRV. She said yes. I told her that her brake lights were out except for the third one. Her face was full of panic and upset as she confirmed that her black CRV was the one I was talking about. I said no, it was a silver CRV with the brake lights out. She was relieved and informed me that her car had just gotten back from the shop. She then wished me luck. It was then that I realized at least two of the many blonde women in the Wawa I was currently standing in owned a CRV.

Another person would have given up, but at that point I had already invested my time in finding the owner of the silver CRV with the brake lights out. I asked two other blonde women and they did not own a CRV. Finally, I found her. I told her, and she was so grateful. And just like that, my mission was complete.