Tag Archives: cats

Shit Silver Lining


I’ve been trying to find the silver lining in things lately. I have a history of being negative, and sometimes I really let it build up. This is exactly what I did last week and I started to put a post together, but I got so pissed off that I didn’t finish. Here is me finishing it:

Sometimes you just end up having a shitty day. For me, it’s been a shitty week and it’s only Wednesday. Part of this was outside of my control, part of this was bad luck on my part, and part of this stems from my own inability to let things go. It’s a major flaw and causes me a lot of unnecessary pain. It’s something I really need to work on, but for now, it’s what inspired this rant.

Monday was stupid at work and I was hurting from my stupid knee, and I found out that the payments on one of my student loans skyrocketed. So I was in a bad mood. Tuesday wasn’t any better. I went to Wawa for lunch and some jackass was just sitting in his car in one of the front spots so I had to circle the building several times to find a parking space and ended up having to walk further because of it. (Why have I never tried to get a handicap tag for this knee thing?) Then Wawa didn’t have the soup I wanted! Stupid shit to get upset over, but that’s what I do sometimes. Then on my way back to the office, I take a turn a little too fast and almost get in an accident. So now I’m pissed at myself on top of everything.

Then I had to stay late at work and got stuck in traffic on my way home. I had to take DibKitty to the vet, so I walk Ranger as quickly as possible and pack up Dib and go. On our way to the vet I’m trying so hard to not laugh at Dib’s howls of protest. Then he howls REALLY loud. And then I smell it. Once we get to the vet (which was frustrating in itself because some asshole just stopped their car at the entrance to the parking lot to let someone out. At least put your hazard lights on so I know I can go around you!), I confirmed that Dib had in fact shit in the carrier. Awesome.

The technicians were very nice about it and offered to clean out his carrier, which I gratefully accepted. They walked out of the room and came back in and said Dib was actually due for a fecal sample and did I want to use his deposit from the carrier? I readily agreed. Shit happens, but sometimes it can be put to good use – there’s my silver lining!

That being said, while we were waiting to pay three dogs came in and kept trying to sniff at Dib in his carrier. He growled and growled, and then he pissed himself. Motherfucker. Dib got a bath last night and I’m still in a pissy mood. It was just my luck.

That’s what I wrote last week. And yes, I had a lot of stupid stuff happen all at once and it snowballed into a huge scribble over my head. But as I’m writing this now, I’m in such a better place. This is probably in part because last week was such a shitty week that when compared, although nothing extraordinary has happened, this week is so much better by default. So maybe the silver lining of last week’s shit was the ability to appreciate this week in all its ordinariness. Maybe that’s how everyone else does it, maybe I’m onto something here.


How to Give Your Cat A Pill: A Short Narrative

I know I just did a post about the cats, but I need to share. It’s been established before that my cats are jerks. The conflict between ZimKitty and DibKitty has been going on for what seems like forever. I discussed some of the things that we’ve tried to get them to get along, one of those things being medication. Now, giving medication to a cat is no easy feat. In fact, it is nearly impossible. Let me elaborate.

The first medication that we started Zim on was back in June I think. (Yep, this has been going on for over a year). How I gave it to him was, I would lock him in the bathroom with me and basically sit on him. Not all my weight – but I had my legs tucked around him with my feet connected so he couldn’t scoot out from under me. Then I would squeeze the sides of his mouth to make them open with my left hand and stick the pill as far back in his throat as possible with my right hand. More often than not, this failed and he would spit the pill out. So I would sit on him again, and shove the pill down his throat again, and watch him spit it out again, until it was so dissolved from his saliva that I would have to get a new pill. I tried holding his scruff with one hand and shoving the pill down his throat with the other, but more often than not he would scratch my arms up with his back claws and I would get all bloody and he still wouldn’t have had his pill. The fun thing was that the first medication didn’t even work. If anything, Zim became more aggressive.

The vet suggested a different medication and I requested it in a liquid form because I thought that would be easier. Just squirt it in the back of his mouth, right? Well it wasn’t quite that simple. I tried just holding his scruff with one hand and squirting it with the other. That didn’t work. Then I remembered that when he was a kitten we wrapped him in a blanket in order to give him antibiotics. So I gathered the same blanket that I used before and swaddled him in it. I wrapped him up nice and tight. Then I tried to squirt the liquid in his mouth and he kept moving enough that it got everywhere but in his mouth. It got on the couch, the towel, my pants, my hands, my arms, my face (once when he coughed it up seconds after I sprayed it in his mouth), and on the cat’s fur…it was a mess. I tried putting it in some wet food, but he didn’t like that at all. I didn’t notice any change in his behavior, so I gave that up as well.

Then on Friday we were at the vet for the animals’ annual checkups. That’s how I spent my Friday night – hauling three cats and a dog to the vet, so much fun! Anyway, after Zim had sliced my hand up pretty well with his back claws the vet asked about his aggression. (This was a different doctor than the one we have seen in the past). We told the whole story about the progression of his aggression problems. The vet suggested a stronger medication. She said that there was a small chance that he would have a negative reaction to the medication, but that it was unlikely, and at this point we’re kind of desperate for some harmony in our home so it’s worth the risk. So I asked if she had suggestions on how to give the pill to the cat since it has been so challenging in the past. And she mentions pill pockets. And OH MY GOD they work SO WELL!

The pill pocket is a treat that looks like a tiny volcano. You put the pill in the center and the pinch it at the top and it is completely surrounded by a treat that the cat just devours! I almost cried it was so easy. I don’t know why no one told me about this before, but I feel the need to tell the world. Maybe this time, Zim will react well to the drug, stop being a homicidal jerk, and my home will be at peace once again. Even if it doesn’t work, the world needs to know. Pill pockets – what an amazing creation. Tell everyone. THIS is how you give a cat a pill. So amazingly easy, I’m already feeling more peaceful.

Cats Are Jerks

So back in February I started a blog post about how cats are jerks. I didn’t finish it then, but after the events of last night I was inspired to write. What happened last night? Well, let me tell you…

First, a bit of background: I have three cats. There was an incident where one cat tried to kill the other cat and they no longer get along. Like cannot-be-in-the-same-room sort of not getting along. I’ve tried just about everything to get these cats to behave in a civilized manner. I have discussed the problem on Pet360.com, I was directed to Jackson Galaxy (the cat whisperer)’s site and learned all about reintroducing two cats. It doesn’t seem to work for mine. So DibKitty and ZimKitty cannot be in the same room. We have an extra bedroom on the third floor that we keep one of them in and we have a baby gate set up so they can be close while eating their food but not touching. Every day I swap them out in one way or another. If I’m working from home I’ll let Zim out on a leash and bring him into my study with me. If I’m in the city, I’ll usually put Dib in the room before bedtime and then before I leave for work I switch them again. Since Zim is the instigator of these problems he tends to spend most nights in the room. If possible, I like to swap them every couple of hours so neither of them is stuck in isolation for long, but it doesn’t always work out that way. It’s a huge pain in the butt, but I’m not sure what else there is to do. We’ve tried medication, we’ve tried herbal remedies, and we’ve tried over and over and over again to reintroduce these cats. I’m kind of beside myself, but I’m not the type of person to give up easily and I’m certainly not the type of person to just drop my cat off at the shelter when the going gets tough. So, the two cats do not get along.

When I feed the cats, I have them eat their food on either side of a baby gate. We got said gate off of craiglist and it’s incomplete, so it kind of just balances there and isn’t secure. Usually I sit beside the cats while they eat their food to watch their behavior and see how things are going. Recently, I’ve taken to leaving the door open just a little bit with the gate still up so that the cats can spend a little more time seeing the others without being locked up tight. FH has warned me that this is a bad idea, but I don’t listen. Last night, I forgot that I had left the door open after I put Dib in the room. We went to get dinner and when we got home we went to bed and that was that… until around 2am when Dib leapt to freedom. I heard the baby gate crash, the sound of food bowls going everywhere, the sound of cat feet running around the house, and then to top it off, the sound of two cats fighting to the death. AWESOME. So I had to get out of bed and go find the cats and put one back in isolation at two in the morning. Like I said, cats are jerks. And now the very expensive bowls I bought for them are broken. I’m kidding, we got them at the dollar store. Still, now we need to get them new bowls. Bunch of jerks.

So that was last night. Below is the original post that I wrote back in February.

Cats are Jerks. There, I’ve said it. I’m sure that the majority of people out there (both cat owners and non-cat owners alike) can relate. There is plenty video evidence to support my claims. Why am I exclaiming this today? Oh, there is a very specific reason. You see, I’ve been working remotely and since there is no one home most of the time to take care of me I have to take care of myself. This means some creative solutions to all sorts of situations. But one relatively simple solution is to fill bottles of water to bring to my desk as opposed to a cup. Because a bottle of water can easily be put in my hoodie pocket or a backpack or if I’m lucky, it’s one with a strap that can fit around my finger. This allows me to use my crutches and have water! But Mondays are different.

See, FH has Sundays and Mondays off from work. So he’s home when I’m working. And, okay, I guess I bug him a bit when he is around. (I only nag because I love you. And because you don’t do what I ask the first time). Today was just like any other day, I asked FH to bring me tea supplies and fill up the coffee pot with water so I could make tea. Then I pretty much left him alone. (Well, after I asked him to clean the tub and mop the floor…) Because I’m a super nice and wonderful fiancée I offered to make him lunch when I made myself lunch. Afterwards, I requested a bit of help bringing up the cup of water that I had been using during lunch. So he brought the water upstairs and put on my desk.

Here is where cats are jerks. I know that they walk on my stuff. I know this. I know that they stick their little heads in my cups to drink my water. I use preventative measures like putting a piece of paper over the top of the water when I walk away. Cat barrier. I had some fruit on my desk from this morning and when I went to eat it I realized that someone (GirKitty) had bitten my grapes and a few strawberries. What a jerk. I avoided the parts that he had gnawed and ate my fruit. I drank a sip of water and determined that I had to empty my bladder. So I left my office and crutched over to the bathroom. About two seconds after I had pulled down my pants I heard a crash followed by a sound of rushing water.

Sitting there I knew that one of two scenarios had just played out. Either the cats had finally knocked over my plant that has a substantial amount of water in it and spilled it. Or they had knocked over my cup of water sitting on my desk. Sitting on my desk right next to my computer and several other electronics. Guess which it was? Like I said. Cats are jerks.

Luckily the computer survived the incident in February and I learned my lesson about open water. The food bowls did not survive last night’s incident, but I would say once again I have learned my lesson. All in all, it’s safe to say that without a doubt, cats are jerks. Just look at how broken the bowls are!


Well… That was Traumatizing

There is nothing worse than being home alone and discovering there has been a huge, gross spider invasion. That is what happened to me. The worst part? The spider was not in a trappable area. My technique in the past for dealing with unwanted creepy crawlies would be to cover said icky-ness with a cup or mug. Something so that the unwanted gross bug could not escape. I felt more secure with this – the bug couldn’t get to me if it was covered up. But of course this was not possible with the spider crawling all over my coffee maker.

I took a deep breath and realized I needed to handle the situation like an adult. So I texted FH and beg him to come home and kill the spider. He didn’t answer. Then I texted Dad and begged him to drive to my house and kill the spider. He did answer, but did not agree to come save me. So I did the next best thing. I pushed my chair as far away from my desk as I could and I cried out that it was so gross.

Every time the spider moved I was convinced that it was preparing to attack me. It moved really quickly too, so I was actively keeping my eyes on it (the only thing worse than seeing a spider is not knowing where it went after initially spotting it). While I watched the spider’s progress I continued to yell at my animals that it was so gross and that one of them needed to kill it.

Then panic set in as the spider moved down off my coffee maker onto my desk and under the Marshall University Marco the Bison keychain. Then I lost him. My heart was racing and in my panic I picked up Gir-Kitty. I moved around my desk and found the spider crawling on the side. So I did the obvious thing. I tried to throw my cat at the spider. After all, he’s caught mice before and has the special ability to catch moths and flies. A spider should easily be conquered and killed by the kitty, but he was not cooperating. What a useless jerk.

The spider started to move up the side of the desk. I continued to cry out how gross the spider was and how big and icky. But I knew I had to take advantage of the spider being where it was. I picked up a box that was on the floor and while repeating “Ewwwwww! Ew, Ew, Ewww!!!!” I smushed the box against the spider and held it there. I hoped and prayed that the box had demolished the spider but I was still afraid to move the box on the off chance that it was an immortal spider and would retaliate against me. I took a deep breath and removed the box. The spider was dead. Hurrah!! I did it!!

Later on when FH came home I told him I needed a favor. I had done all the hard work killing the spider. It was up to him to wipe the spider guts off the side of my desk. He rolled his eyes at me, but indulged my craziness and removed all evidence of a dead spider off the side of my desk. Whew. I have to say, I’m proud that I killed the spider, but I sure as hell don’t want to have to do anything like that ever again.